Counting down

It was like yesterday that we discussed in the dorm how old we would be by 2008. The fact is it’s right around the corner. No changes to me, still like a twig floating in a creek. I’m more and more afraid of changes, even a small setting on the computer would make me uncomfortable.

A debating topic we had in university came to my mind: work to live or live to work? By that I found my problem, after a long time of rumination. I live to work, but work can’t fill all my life. It’s not my choice, because I don’t have a choice at all.

Beaujolais Nouveau Day

I'm so honored to be invited to this party on the third Thursday of November. From Landmark Building to Block 8, a bustling area of Beijing's nightlife.

Reception girls in white dresses are young and fetching – a new generation of competitors. I sat in an obscure corner, chitchatting with my old colleagues. I used to be a member of the family. Nobody noticed me in the dark, but I believe my card with the Sony Pictures logo was enough to overtake everyone, everything.

Kiev restaurant

It’s been a busy week. We had dinner with a partner at Kiev restaurant Friday evening. Russian folk music and Ukraine singers in uniforms seemd to have brought the older generation to a time long forgotten.

That’s what I like about the job – chances of going out, seeing interesting things, trying exotic foods… I call them sparkles. Moving to the right job is like opening a window and suddenly, a complete new world is in front of you.

Business trip to Singapore

Globalization can be devilish. Traveling on the street, I don’t know where I am, BJ, HK or SG? KFC, Watsons and Carrefour have added to the amiability of a city and blurred the geographical line, but at the same time, they make the cities characterless.

Business trips are really exhausting. This one is so much like the HK trip 3 yrs ago. It’s all about meetings, from morning to night, one after another. I’m still a new face, fighting against drowsiness.

The return trip was literally nightmarish. It was my first red eye flight – sleepless in the air. 6 hours. What welcomed us at the airport was the gloomy sky of Beijing. The autumn fling is over.

Doubts

CBD is busy as usual, but the life of a regular 9-to-6er is no longer as fresh to me as it was three years ago.

I’m still adjusting myself to this normal life. I’m actually full of doubts. I used to think one week was enough to see if it’s the right job for me, but this time I’m so unsure of myself. Do I really like marketing or I’m just chasing the ghost of my first job?

Last day at Dow Jones

Flowers bloom and wither; clouds gather and disperse; seasons come and go.

8月底的北京已经有了秋天的味道，中午坐在车上，竟然感到风有些凉。从三环一路走来，发现给我留下记忆的都是Sopexa：04年走过的那些地方，05年冬天大董烤鸭店最后的晚餐，而在道琼斯的日子却平淡的没有一丝波澜。这种淡然就像麻药，让我真切地感受到了所谓的退化。

最后一刻让我意外的是一些小同事的open，原来大家都感觉到了这里的不足，外表的光鲜掩饰不了内心的寂寞，我最终的选择是勇敢地迈出去。对于刚步入25岁的我来说，这是一个不小的risk。

很多人都把30岁当成一个坎儿，而在我眼里，这个坎儿是25。过去的三年给了我同龄人没有的经历。出国一直是我的梦想，很羡慕身边踏出国门的人，但是由于种种原因，我只能将它作为我的last choice。

9月份可以算是真正意义上的秋天了，一切都要重新开始，脑中突然出现了一幅画面：七年前，我站在北外的校园里，早上有点冷。

The choice

Yesterday was my last morning shift, my last day to get off work at 3pm.

I went to the exhibition this morning, just to familiarize myself with the new environment. I suddenly felt a bit worried. Is it the right choice to give up my current job when everything is so stable?

If I stayed, I might become a translator and probably have a chance to go to Jersey City for a four-month working trip. But how long would that take? Another two years? Sorry, I can't afford the time. Besides, I'm not really interested in being an uncreative translating machine.

If I left, well, to be honest, I don't know.

Making a choice is the most difficult test that life gives us. Nobody can foresee the influence of a choice in ten years. I don't have a crystal ball; only time can tell. Hope this time I'm not the lousy choice maker.