Shanghai impression

十几年前第一次来上海，便爱上了这里，因为她的繁华，因为她的精致。那时还没有浦东，也没有磁悬浮，东方明珠刚刚建起。

再一次来到这里，早已没有了当年的震撼。小时候走过的地方，居然没有留下印象。外滩的游人依旧熙熙攘攘，只是东方明珠在灰蒙蒙的天空下有些黯然失色。很幸运见到了即将被拆掉的外白渡桥，但遗憾的是已经不能在桥上走一走。

其实一直喜欢上海多过北京。这里少了几分政治气氛，多了几分浪漫和暧昧。雨后夜晚的滨江大道美得让人陶醉，没有了白天的喧哗，仿佛时间停滞。如果黄浦江增添了这座城市的灵气，那么老洋房则赋予了她沧桑感。东方古典和西方现代完美地结合，就连新天地的Starbucks都显得别具一格。相比之下，北京就像一座围城，一些不伦不类的地标性建筑孤零零地矗立其中，却并不协调。

如果不是因为上海漫长的夏季，也许不会选择北京。只有北京冬天那彻骨的冷，才能让我清醒。当夜晚回北京的飞机在空中盘旋的时候，突然发现这个我生活了将近八年的城市，夜景也很美。

人在一个地方呆得太久，会变得麻木。旅行也只不过是暂时的逃避，行走之后，终究还是要回到现实的。

Saving fish from drowning

God must be furious to turn the sky into the eerie color of beige. All the windows were shut and the whole building was like a gas chamber. Soon I’ll be on my getaway.

Just finished Amy Tan’s saving fish from drowning. A story so touching and mesmerizing it changed my perception on fictions. I thought I didn’t like novels, but I underestimated myself. I just didn’t find my niche. Novels in fact can be as real as memoirs.

It’s a nice surprise to find an author that I identify with and know a character that I have empathy for. Reading the last chapter of a favorite book feels like bidding farewell to a long-known friend. All good things come to an end.

An excerpt:
…It was a year after I started university life, and I had returned home at Sweet Ma's command to join the family celebration of the Autumn Festival, what is traditionally a time of thanksgiving. Now here we were, my father and brothers and I, at the usual gathering of distant relatives and Chinese friends, both longtime citizens and the recently immigrated. We were in the backyard of a second cousin's house in Menlo Park, about to view the full moon rise. We carried paper lanterns with sputtering candles, and walked toward the swimming pool. And in that pool, I saw the moon appear and shimmer, a golden melon and not just a flat disc, as it had always appeared to me before. I heard people moan with happiness. I saw their mouths pop open, the rims of their eyes drip with tears.

My mouth was closed, my eyes were dry. I could see the moon as clearly as they, and I could even appreciate its special glories. But why didn't I flood in the same way? Why was their happiness tenfold what I felt? Did I lack the proper connection between the senses and the heart?

And then I realized that this was my habit. To hold back my feelings. To keep my knees from buckling. And with that knowledge, I was ready to feel whatever I wanted, as fully as I wanted. I gazed at the moon and willed myself to feel all the emotions. I waited for joy and awe to wash over me. I was determined, I was ready, I was anticipating, expecting, hoping . . . but nothing happened. My legs stood strong and straight.

Vision Beijing

Not a day goes by but I hear or see the ^O^ word. If the Games were a religion, I might have already been converted to Olympicism.

The other night I watched a program called Vision Beijing. 5 famous directors, 5 short films, yet none impressed me.

Under the lens of the Iranian director, the school kids are smiling radiantly, but don’t they have loads of homework to do?

In Lau’s film, the foods look enticing and the variety is eye-opening. But I suppose for the ordinary people, many of those elaborate dishes are extravagances.

It’s good the directors have captured these beautiful moments, but some faces shouldn’t be neglected. They are migrant workers jostling in the buses at 6am, compound security guards stamping their feet to keep out the cold, delivery boys cycling in the snow, listless subway commuters rushing to work… Without them, Beijing wouldn’t be what it is today.

Maybe I’ve outgrown the city, or the country. Sometimes feel suffocated in the smog, under the roaring flyover, at the swarming crossing, in the crowded supermarket, in the office without a view…

Fate, inescapable

The eye by the Pang brothers is not the type of movie that can be remade. HK horror movies often contain elements of ghosts, their pre-existence and afterlife, karma and reincarnation, as in the eye 2, which is a completely different story and much spookier. These concepts are ingrained in China’s thousands of years of culture and can’t be copied by any movie technique. (Similarly, there will never be a Chinese remake of the exorcist or the omen.)

However, the fatalistic ending of the eye reminds me of the final destination series. Most mainstream American movies I’ve seen are positive and uplifting, like the pursuit of happyness, Apocalypto… People fight for a better life. But final destination is atypical. So I imdbed it and found the answer: the director-cum-writer is from HK, too.

"Are you hot? I'm so hot!"

Miss Chen was a lovely stocky girl, like a female version of Garfield jumping out of the comic book, much diligent, though.

She was an intern helping with a PR project. We were receiving an agricultural delegation from the EU and their last day’s schedule was a trip to the Great Wall. Each intern was assigned to accompany a guest during the visit.

It was a warm spring day in late March. Chen seemed excited about being a tour guide. The view was stunning, but the stairs were too high for her and within a few minutes, she was dripping with sweat.

Then in the middle of the Great Wall, she turned to the guest and asked in a hospitable tone, with a smile on her chubby cheeks:

“Hey, are you hot? I’m so hot!”

The guy must be taken aback. Yes, she was hot in the gaudy dress that day.

I’m not poking fun at her. It was her sense of humor that made the trip we took 4 years ago so vivid and memorable.

Bad education

Science or art? This is a choice I was faced with ten years ago. Fast-forward to 1998, after the first year in high school, we had to choose between the two. Besides Chinese, English and mathematics, which were compulsory subjects, science students focused on physics and chemistry, while art students on history and politics.

I chose science without hesitation. I couldn’t stand the dates and historical events being drummed into me and learning everything by rote. Or maybe the darkness of the Middle ages and the resplendence of Renaissance Europe were too far away for a 16-year-old. I actually wasn’t interested in science either. I struggled in byzantine physical theories and fell asleep over chemistry formulas.

So you can imagine how miserable my high school life would be. 12 classes a day, 7am to 9pm, Monday to Sunday, Jan to Dec. The only spare time was Sunday afternoon. If I could call that spare time.

Despite my stupidity on certain subjects, I was pretty good at English. So after graduation, I chose English as my major. It was a miracle. I survived and finally broke out of the prison.

When I entered university, I found myself being surrounded by elites from all over the country. I was jealous of those with deep philosophical thoughts and admired those who can reel off history. I shouldn’t have wasted my youth on science exercises. What good did it do to me? Logical thinking? Hopefully.

When it comes to making choices, there is no right or wrong. It is always the not-so-wise choices that teach us something and we grow mature in these lessons. And coming of age is not necessarily a bad thing. It gives us the right to choose what we want to do and give up what we don’t.

Friendship beyond time

We have known each other for ten years, one year in the same classroom, and another two in the same high school. After graduation, we went our own ways. She studied in Qingdao and works in Shanghai. I’m in Beijing.

Last time we met, it was 4 or 5 years ago. But neither time nor distance can separate us. That’s the power of friendship. Real friends don’t change with time. When we get together again, the years just disappear and we quickly reconnect. That’s the magic of friendship. She helped me get through the hardest period. That’s the value of friendship.

题外话
经常会遇到很像的人：有人长得像，有人说话像，有人性格像，有人感觉像。老同学，老同事，新同事，新客户。。。好像在世界的某个角落，每个人都有自己的一面镜子。偶尔会在茫茫人海中看到一张似曾相识的脸，却不敢相认，因为不相信会有这样的巧合。于是就这样擦肩而过，或者他们本身就是我们生命中的过客。不曾相逢，是缘分未到；相逢却不相识，是有缘无分。