I have a dream that one day I can have a dream at 4 o’clock. I don’t want to wake up at 4 every morning, tossing about in bed, eyes wide shut, watching the sun looming from the gloomy sky.
I have a dream that one day I can have a slow breakfast. I’m tired of gobbling two pieces of cold bread in one minute with my eyes fixed on the screen for pop-up news.
I have a dream that one day I can find a job I like to do. I don’t need to find a ton of reasons to say I quit. One is enough – I don’t like it.
I have a dream that one day I can go out wearing a white shirt and black shoes and when I return, the white shirt is still white and black shoes still black, not the other way round.
I have a dream that one day I can leave the windows of my apartment open and see no sand or dust on the floor an hour later.
I have a dream that one day the sun will stop playing hide-and-seek with us. Not everything has been illuminated yet.
Friday, April 6, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
A toast to memories
Spring is a nostalgic season for me. Maybe it’s because my best and worst experience both occurred in this period. As time slips by mercilessly, the memories will fade into oblivion, but its alteration to me endures and it’s perpetual.
March is half gone. Reality keeps bursting my bubbles and it tells me never hope for a miracle. But I am not entirely without a chance, dim though.
March is half gone. Reality keeps bursting my bubbles and it tells me never hope for a miracle. But I am not entirely without a chance, dim though.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Chinese New Year in BJ
Beijing emptied overnight, as if an emergency evacuation had just happened. It falls into deep sleep. Streets are festooned with bright splashes of China red. Sporadic fireworks illuminate the sky. Other than that, nothing new.
Back to work -- a perfect excuse to shy away from the banalities, which China has been sticking to for thousands of years. People eat as if they have been starving for years; say Guo nian hao to each other repeatedly like a tape recorder; light strings of firecrackers to produce noise and pollute the air... I just can’t figure out why using such a violent way for celebration.
Back to work -- a perfect excuse to shy away from the banalities, which China has been sticking to for thousands of years. People eat as if they have been starving for years; say Guo nian hao to each other repeatedly like a tape recorder; light strings of firecrackers to produce noise and pollute the air... I just can’t figure out why using such a violent way for celebration.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Beijing Only
For tourists in Beijing, the old saying “One who fails to reach the Great Wall is not a hero” may be true. But for its residents, this must sound cliché. The capital city has more fun to offer and you shouldn’t miss them.
Subway
Getting yourself onto the subway in the rush hour is not an easy battle to fight. No sooner the train stops than the passengers swarm to it. The guards are yelling “Xian xia hou shang” (Let the passengers get off first.) with loudspeakers. If you are unfortunately sandwiched between the doors, don’t worry, they will give you a hand and squeeze you in.
The situation inside is no better than outside. You are stuck, feeling like metamorphosing into a thin picture. The odor mixed with perfume and sweat is stimulating your nose; the music fanatic’s MP3 is rocking your ears; the high heels around are threatening your feet; the frizzy hair in front of you is sweeping your face; the little pair of glasses is capping his paper on your head… Next time when taking the subway, wish yourself to be a hedgehog.
Queuing Day
From kindergarten kids to adults, every Beijinger is learning to queue. Recently the municipal government has announced the 11th of each month to be Queuing Day, in the hope of perfecting the city’s image before its debut in 2008.
However, it takes three generations to make a gentleman. Can the uncivilized understand the social etiquette in a short span of 18 months? Anyway, let’s be optimistic. Even a kitten is learning to mop her face with the paw. Humans will progress, too.
Pajamas during the Day
With spring on her way, the pajama contingent is awakening from hibernation. Soon they will dot the communities, markets and parks with fancy flowers and teddy bears printed on their baggy cotton outfits. Get ready for the show!
Summer is more eye-opening. While men’s eyes are dazzled by swanky girls, women are not so lucky. It’s showtime for the infamous “bang ye”-- people who stroll around bare-armed. Don’t be embarrassed by their flabby stomach. They are so at ease, why should you?
It is right these little fragments that compose the miscellaneous city. Like it or not, that’s real Beijing.
Subway
Getting yourself onto the subway in the rush hour is not an easy battle to fight. No sooner the train stops than the passengers swarm to it. The guards are yelling “Xian xia hou shang” (Let the passengers get off first.) with loudspeakers. If you are unfortunately sandwiched between the doors, don’t worry, they will give you a hand and squeeze you in.
The situation inside is no better than outside. You are stuck, feeling like metamorphosing into a thin picture. The odor mixed with perfume and sweat is stimulating your nose; the music fanatic’s MP3 is rocking your ears; the high heels around are threatening your feet; the frizzy hair in front of you is sweeping your face; the little pair of glasses is capping his paper on your head… Next time when taking the subway, wish yourself to be a hedgehog.
Queuing Day
From kindergarten kids to adults, every Beijinger is learning to queue. Recently the municipal government has announced the 11th of each month to be Queuing Day, in the hope of perfecting the city’s image before its debut in 2008.
However, it takes three generations to make a gentleman. Can the uncivilized understand the social etiquette in a short span of 18 months? Anyway, let’s be optimistic. Even a kitten is learning to mop her face with the paw. Humans will progress, too.
Pajamas during the Day
With spring on her way, the pajama contingent is awakening from hibernation. Soon they will dot the communities, markets and parks with fancy flowers and teddy bears printed on their baggy cotton outfits. Get ready for the show!
Summer is more eye-opening. While men’s eyes are dazzled by swanky girls, women are not so lucky. It’s showtime for the infamous “bang ye”-- people who stroll around bare-armed. Don’t be embarrassed by their flabby stomach. They are so at ease, why should you?
It is right these little fragments that compose the miscellaneous city. Like it or not, that’s real Beijing.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Brain Storm
Early in the morning, one of our night-shift (11pm-7am) colleagues collapsed. A 120 was called and immediately sent her to the hospital. The doctor said she had a brain hemorrhage. We were shocked.
She is young, probably in her late 20s, single and is a non-Beijinger. Her brother flew to BJ in the afternoon to look after her.
I was thinking if one day such a disaster hit me… Can’t imagine that! I even don’t have a brother or sister.
We do care about our health, but sometimes we just can’t help. It’s not until someone sitting next to us suddenly collapses that the alarm is set off. If we all struggle in the office for the meager salary to prepare for our old age and cover the medical fare, then what’s the meaning of life?
Human beings are so vulnerable in front of diseases. We have advanced equipment to do plastic surgery, but we are hardly able to defeat the virus inside our body. We can make atom bombs and nuclear weapons to kill, but we are can’t stop death from approaching. Alas!
Monday, January 1, 2007
New Year quote
Experience is, for me, the highest authority. The touchstone of validity is my own experience. No other person's ideas, and none of my own ideas, are as authoritative as my experience.... Neither the Bible nor the prophets-neither Freud nor research-neither the revelations of God nor man-can take precedence over my own direct experience.
---On Becoming a Person, Carl Rogers
---On Becoming a Person, Carl Rogers
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Bianlian
Last night’s bianlian show (face changing) at the year end party scared me, really. Our table was so close to the stage that I could see the actor's face clearly: inscrutable and eerie; his black mantle was intimidating. It ignited my sense of insecurity. I never panic when I watch thrillers, but how can I still be frightened by such a scene when I knew it was FAKE?
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